RBOC: Weekend Edition

• Pupzilla has a new bone and The Brute has a new toy that squeaks.
• I'm playing with the new Genius playlist feature on I-tunes. I'm a playlistin' fool but have been sticking with a lazy shuffle as of late. This feels like a smart shuffle option.
• I just made roasted red peppers in a balsamic vinaigrette.
• Last nite b and I went to a cabaret version of Dracula. They did a great job with it but I think the story is just too big for the venue.
• During Friday nite's class my sensei decided it was "let's mess with Brigindo's head" day. He has me doing mirror-images of my forms and threatening that doing them backwards comes next. Its amazing how wrong it feels to do automatic movements on the opposite side. Its like writing with your left-hand when you're right-handed only with your whole body. Funny thing is, if you close your eyes it becomes easier.
• I believe I drank myself off my diet this weekend.
• I'm in class prepping hell--spending way to much time and getting nowhere.

The Obligatory Shoe Post

So it seems academics like shoes. Profgrrrl had her tenure boots a while back. Seeking Solace has sought advice from the bloggy world on shoe choices and Scientistmother
took umbrage with Dr. Isis' condemnation of square-toed shoes.

Therefore I feel it is only fitting that I put my two cents in. I love shoes, always have. However I have never been a fan of the high heel or the pointy toe. Sorry, all those so-called "cute" shoes look like pure torture to me and my size 9 wide feet. I have put my feet through a lot of stress--walking, running, and kicking--but they've been relatively free of shoe abuse.

As I get older I can only get kinder to my feet. My latest kindness and obsession has found a happy home in Keens.



I own this pair in blue

and just bought a pair similar to these


These boots are a current fantasy.


There you are, my bloggy friends, a true middle-aged academic shoe obsession.

Birthday Wishes

My sister, Meg, turned 50 today. Meg is the oldest of us four girls and I am the youngest. This means Meg gets to break trail for each new decade and I bring up the rear. From what I gather 50 can be a hard one.

I don't get to speak to my sisters as often as I'd like and I see them once a year at best. Today I got to talk with Meg for over an hour and a half. She is going through an exciting but stressful time in her life right now (turning 50 seems to be the least of it) and it was wonderful to catch up on it all. My niece is throwing her a big birthday bash this Saturday, which I unfortunately will not be able to attend. Hopefully I'll make it up North sometime soon and get a chance to spend some time with her.

In our talk today Meg suggested that Angel may be so reluctant to come home because he needs to be--if he admits to himself that he misses us it may be too hard to be away. I will say this thought had crossed my mind before but than I instantly thought it is too nice of a thought to have. A little too comforting--making it suspect. However it as nice to be able to talk to her about it, as she is the only one of us who has gone through the college years and come out on the other end.

Happy Birthday Meg.

Mothering in the Academy

I went to a presentation at my university the other day. It seems we have resurrected a committee who's sole charge is to examine the non-insurance benefits to faculty and staff. This is a good thing. It came about because two women, one faculty and one staff, who are both mothers of young children, had horrendous experiences finding childcare. They created separate reports on the lack of family-friendly initiatives in our university, comparing our policies and benefits with other universities both inside and outside our system.

Both reports recommend that the committee examines the possibility of offering daycare and lactation rooms as well as tuition reimbursement benefits for children and spouses and to re-examine the family leave policy (for children and other family members). Now most of these benefits and policies have no bearing on my current life (except for tuition reimbursement), which I believe explains my total lack of knowledge of our policies before attending this presentation.

I have to be honest and admit I never gave the need for a lactation room a thought--either before being hired or since. However, having had it brought to my attention I do care greatly. I especially care when I heard that a few months ago our library had an "extra room" available (when is there ever unclaimed space in a university?) and was asking for suggestions on how to use it. Someone suggested a lactation room (a relatively easy room to create and maintain) but it was turned down. I do not know what the room became.

I also care when I hear that staff get a maximum of 2 months leave that is financed by using all of their sick and vacation time. This, of course, leaves them no allowed time to take when their children become ill and can't go to daycare. Faculty can also get 2 months paid leave (we don't get sick or vacation time) but only if they can negotiate a deal with their department. This deal usually depends upon coming up with solutions for covering your classes. Now I've read enough in academic blogs to know this is not unusual but that doesn't make it right. It is also really no different than my experiences with both maternity leave and childcare almost 19 years ago.

It also is not right that the last time this committee was in existence they decided not to pursue childcare options because a survey they conducted found only 200 people on campus responded that they would use the service. Now it seems pretty clear to me that this is not a simple fact of what benefits would our current staff/faculty want but rather how do we recruit and retain quality staff/faculty who have very real family-work balance needs? Also if you asked me if I would use a service such as this I would have to say no but if you ask me if I feel our university should have such a benefit I would say yes, even over other benefits that would benefit me personally. Answers change dramatically based on how you word them and just because I no longer need childcare doesn't mean I want other women to be forced into draconian choices.

But what bothered me most of all? That it took 2 women, with small children at home and already busy jobs at work, to conduct all the legwork needed to create these reports that led to the reinstatement of the committee and its charge. And on top of that one of the 2 women, the faculty member (untenured, I believe), is now chair of the committee.

So yes all kudos and respect to these remarkable women for leading the charge and to my university for listening to them and taking them seriously. And hopefully we will see a change. However why does the burden of work always have to fall on those who are already burdened? And why does that always turn out to be the women?

As a last note, one of the women, in telling her story of childcare woe, mentioned that for the first year or so at this job her husband was a stay-at-home dad. However he finally realized that it was too much work and went out and found himself a job. According to her story he called her on a Thursday afternoon with an offer that started on Monday. She then had only a few days to find childcare for her kids. Now I couldn't help but think why was that HER job? If a stay-at-home mom suddenly found a job, wouldn't she need to find the childcare? Or better yet, isn't that something they should be doing together?

And my students argue with me that there is no power differential by gender in our country any more.

One Day It Will Sink In

Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love. Need does NOT equal love.

Not now...not ever.

The State of the Blog

Thank you Lee....my sentiments exactly.

Doodle by Lee. The code for this doodle and other doodles you can use on your blog can be found at Doodles.

Motherhood

My research is very applied. That means I do research on specific issues in order to develop ways to intervene with those issues. I then develop an actual intervention and evaluate how well it works.

Two of my current research topics involves mothering. Yesterday was the first meeting of some intervention work I'm doing in the community with mothers. It is a slow process and will probably take many years before (if) it sees fruition. In the meantime, I really enjoy my mothers.

I was driving to the community site to set up for the group and heard my phone ring deep inside my bag on the back seat. I hate talking on the phone while I drive and couldn't reach it, so I figured it could wait until I got to my destination. Not five minutes later it rang again. Either someone really wanted me or two people wanted me--either one indicates something is up (I'm not a big phone person so I don't get a lot of calls).

I parked outside of the location and dug around for my phone. First call was from Angel; second from b. Only b left a message. It was "call me at work." When I called he started with "First, your son is ok..." So not a good start of a phone call but a good way to convey bad news.

And it really wasn't that bad. Angel fell while playing soccer and split his chin (6 stitches) and broke his wrist. He had been to Urgent Care but still needed to see an Orthopedist for a cast. I hung up with b and called Angel to get the full story and give some motherly attention. I guess it was the long distance/grown-up version of kissing the boo-boo.

Then I went inside and met with my mothers.