Another Day

Today was the second workshop for the research project that has me so giddy. We lost a few participants, which is to be expected, but I was happy to see an email from one when I got home. She hopes to be there next week.

This evening went just as well although I didn't come home with the same high. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy but tired. I teach directly before the workshop and last week I had my class watch a movie. Today I had to do a regular class and then race over to run the workshop. That's a lot of "on" time for an introvert like me.

Also I had a student in tears at the end of class today and, while I was able to reassure her, I didn't feel like I left the situation resolved. Funny thing is I just attended a workshop on working with students in crisis last Friday. In the workshop they went over a number of scenarios that might cause a student to come to you in a crisis and then--bang--it happens today.

I don't have a lot of experience with this and I'm not sure why. As I've mentioned before this is my first time teaching undergraduates. I can't imagine that graduate students don't have crises, but maybe they have more resources for handling them on their own? I don't think it is age, since this woman is a non-traditional student and many of my grad students are hir age or younger.

Angel has spent the day working on a paper that is due tomorrow. He found me online after the workshop and asked me to read a draft. I'm Professor Mom. I gave him feedback and now he's working on a revision. I believe I'll be reading that before I go to sleep.

He comes home tomorrow for a long weekend. It is his first visit and the first time I'll see him since we dropped him off in August. I'm excited and nervous.

I've Forgotten How Nice It is....

...to work at home for the day. Today is the first day I've stayed home since the semester began. Not only is it relaxing but I got so much done. I was able to clear away enough of the grunt work (except for grading...I'm just keep putting that off) that I could get back to my REAL work. Fabulous indeed.

Unfortunately it is back to the office tomorrow. However I only have to teach one class and then no teaching for a week!

As Seen Around the Blogosphere

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Joan!

You are a Joan -- "I need to succeed"

Joans are energetic, optimistic, self-assured, and goal oriented.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Leave me alone when I am doing my work.


• * Give me honest, but not unduly critical or judgmental, feedback.


• * Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful.


• * Don't burden me with negative emotions.


• * Tell me you like being around me.


• * Tell me when you're proud of me or my accomplishments.

What I Like About Being a Joan

• * being optimistic, friendly, and upbeat


• * providing well for my family


• * being able to recover quickly from setbacks and to charge ahead to the next challenge


• * staying informed, knowing what's going on


• * being competent and able to get things to work efficiently


• * being able to motivate people

What's Hard About Being a Joan

• * having to put up with inefficiency and incompetence


• * the fear on not being -- or of not being seen as -- successful


• * comparing myself to people who do things better


• * struggling to hang on to my success


• * putting on facades in order to impress people


• * always being "on." It's exhausting.

Joans as Children Often

• * work hard to receive appreciation for their accomplishments


• * are well liked by other children and by adults


• * are among the most capable and responsible children in their class or school


• * are active in school government and clubs or are quietly busy working on their own projects

Joans as Parents

• * are consistent, dependable, and loyal


• * struggle between wanting to spend time with their children and wanting to get more work done


• * expect their children to be responsible and organized

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Day Off

So I'm mired down in work. It is actually worse than usual and more just keeps getting added. The current pace is set to continue at least through the month and more likely through to Thanksgiving. On top of the actual workload is my desire to get a little ahead so I can (a) spend some quality time with Angel when he comes home for his first visit next week and (b) not completely work through the 3-day trip to the beach that b and I have planned once Angel's visit is over.

All that being said I have to admit I took the day off and feel much better for doing so. Sometimes a day off is exactly the right approach when you're behind with no chance of getting ahead. Curious about what I did? Here's my day in a nutshell:

• Slept late (9:30 am)
• Drank coffee in bed while reading blogs (ok and a grant that someone sent me but technically that's prework--not work)
• Straightened up the kitchen and cleaned the kitty litter box
  
• Went with b to meet my old GA (she needs a better name, let's call her DeeDee) at our favorite breakfast place
• Ate a big old omelet with home fries and a biscuit
• Talked a lot
• Brought DeeDee back home and sat around in the yard enjoying the beautiful and gossiping (b was kind enough to go food shopping without me)
• Said good bye to DeeDee and went to the sporting store with b
• Bought a new heavy bag, a pair of gloves and rubber matting for the floor
• Helped b carry our stand for the heavy bag from the backyard into the living room
• Helped b set up said heavy bag stand and hang heavy bag
• Cleaned living room
• Hit the heavy bag--wearing new gloves--and practiced kata
  
• Chatted with Angel online (he spent the day playing paintball with his frat brothers and took pictures with his new early birthday present camera)
• (Ok, read a little more of the grant that is prework not work and answered an email or two)
• Ate dinner that b cooked in his brand new dutch oven (we're up to dutch oven #4)
• Laid in bed with b and watched this movie:
  
  
  
• Stayed in bed and watch last Thursday's Grey's Anatomy (I teach Thursday nights so I bought the season pass)
• Read more blogs
• Wrote this blog.
• It's almost 11 pm and I think I may read some more of Kindred (only one more Octavia Butler to go after this)

Tomorrow it's all work.

Research High

I came home tonight feeling the same euphoria I feel after a really good run. It was a great day all around and it ended gloriously. Like a runner's high, this research high is hard to describe.

I've spent many many years engaged in intervention research. This type of research is very labor intensive and requires recruiting participants, developing instruments, developing the intervention (including producing the actual materials and making them look professional), collecting data (and the entire informed consent procedure that goes with research), and actually implementing the intervention. It can be exhausting but is very hands-on and interactive. I get to work with real people (not just scientists) and I have to learn a variety of skills and interact with professionals that fall outside of regular science.

I've done this work and I've enjoyed it immensely. However, up until today, I did all of this for someone else's intervention; someone else's research. Now I did it for so long I certainly left my mark and I felt a great deal of ownership but it was never my original idea. Tonight I ran the first workshop of an intervention I thought up 3 years ago. I've done all of the formative research to get it to this stage and now we're actually running the study.

Granted we're running it on a small scale. It is the first baby step on a long long path to see if I can actually make a difference in people's lives but it felt great. On top of actually seeing my work come to life I also saw my student research team in action and they were awesome. My other big dream for the past three years has been to do this type of work with students; to work with them in a way that gave them true ownership. I wanted them excited and invested in the work and I wanted them to learn that this type of work exists but most importantly I wanted them to see that they could create something--research or otherwise--that both feeds their passion and helps others.

The design of the study called for us to run simultaneous workshops, so I couldn't be there with them to help them through it. They so didn't need me. They totally rocked and were completely pumped afterwards. Our participants also left the building feeling great and looking forward to coming back next week.

I may be completely burnt by the time this month is over but I'm feeling pretty good now.

Hate Me If You Will...

...but I just not a huge fan of children. Don't get me wrong, I don't lure them into my candy-covered home and stuff them into ovens. In fact there are quite a few out there in the world that I'm fond of, especially the ones in my family. What I mean is I don't go ga-ga over babies and I don't immediately get down on my knees to play with toddlers. I don't try and engage every child I meet in conversation and I don't think they're all cute...not even the babies (I mean most babies are but there are a few butt-ugly ones in this world).

My take on children is pretty much my take on all people--there are some I adore, very few I despise, but most of them I can take or leave. I also don't quite understand why young people are automatically cute and precious but old people--not so much. In fact I've been known to get crushes on little old ladies, because many of them are damned cute.

But anyway, kids are people and I don't raise them above or below any other age group. However I really don't like teaching them. At the dojo we don't have a separate kid's class, instead we all line up together. I like the idea of that more than the practice sometimes. Of course some kids really want to be there and others have parents who want them to be there. Tonight I had to teach a young girl, who everyone finds remarkably cute but no one wants to teach. She wants to play and I believe someone her age should be allowed to play. Unfortunately karate is not about play, especially when you are the only child in the room.

I do have a special fondness for adolescents/young adults (I'm channeling my mother right now, which is more than a little disturbing). There is something about this age group that I find appealing, especially young women who are on the brink of discovering themselves. I seem to be collecting daughters post-forty. My latest acquisition goes as far as to call me mom and came running into my office the other day because a bee flew up her pants leg and stung her twice. I made an appropriate amount of fuss and sent her on her way.

We're working closely together on one of my projects and she's been amazing. Sunday I attended an event she put together (she is president of the honor's society - what else would you expect from a daughter of mine?) and then we worked in my office for a few hours. I invited her over for some of b's famous chicken chili and a good time was had by all.

My Poor Little Blog...

...is so very neglected these days. The guilt would be overwhelming if I had any time to process it. Worse than my blog however is my journal. I've never been a successful journal writer. I usually can't get beyond 2 or 3 days. However when we moved down here and I started a new life in academia I decided to record the process in a daily journal. Since my computer functions as a camera the idea was to take a picture a day and to just describe what I did.

I managed almost every day for the first few months--this was before blogging and summertime in a brand new job--but then settled down into a more detailed post about once a week. I've managed to keep it alive for two years, which is really quite remarkable to me. However both August and September both have one entry each. Maybe it will become a monthly fixture...than an annual one and then what, one entry a decade? That will be one long-a$$ entry.

I think the decrease in both blogging and journaling happened because of the whole sending Angel off to school. It seems when I'm really sad or upset I don't like to write or to drink--when I'm extremely stressed I don't eat but I clean, which means that both my person and my house look their best when things are at their worst, pretty messed up eh? I have been feeling better of late (although I think that will be completely shot in 2 weeks when he comes home for his first visit) but this semester is kicking my butt big time. http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

I have two community-based interventions running this month, a grant, 3 papers, a gazillion committee meetings and my two classes. All good--well not the meetings--but just no time to breathe. I've been trying to stick to going to the dojo three times a week no matter what as I believe that is my only outlet at the moment. However this is being threatened by some last minute service work that needs to be done Monday night.

Other than the dojo I think my only non-work activities are watching a smattering of TV shows and occasionally going to the movies or for drinks with b (last night we went to see this--I have mixed reactions). I haven't even been able to finish my Octavia Butler marathon. I'm two books shy of the finish line and my favorite ex-GA is reading the same one. We're supposed to be doing an email book club but I can't get to it.

Sorry. I know I'm whining and really its not bad and is just so hard to imagine how it can go from zero to 160 in a month.