RBOC: Wiped Out Edition

• I just got home from assisting in my third birth.  Mom and baby are doing super fine.
• I know all babies are cute but this one was exceptionally attractive.  
• One more birth and I can put in my certification packet.
• I can't imagine watching a person come into the world can ever get old.
• I can't imagine ceasing to be amazed by the strength and fortitude of a woman in labor.
• I left the hospital this morning feeling grateful that a woman allowed me to share such an intimate and critical moment in her life.  
• I haven't slept in many hours but am currently too wired to think of sleeping.  b and I are going out for a big egg breakfast instead.
• If you have any doubt that times have changed you need to see the amount of cellphone calls and texting that goes on in a delivery room now.  
• It also boggles my mind that a baby's picture can be on Facebook before the mom has finished delivering the afterbirth. 
• The last two bullets may have something to do with being in delivery rooms with young moms but I wouldn't bet my life on it. 
• My next birth isn't until September and that seems like a very good thing right now. 

A Simple Life

This past weekend was filled with spiritual-physical goodness.  Here are the highlights:

• I took an hour and a half yoga class on Friday night, which left me a bit sore and tired the next day.  
• Saturday morning I took my normal tai chi class and then a 4-hour tai chi saber workshop.  Tai chi is a gentle art but when done for 5 hours it can be quite exhausting.  I learned a lot in the workshop and I'm looking forward to the next one.  
• Sunday morning I drove to a nearby city for a 2-hour chi gung class.  There is a group of people in this city who collect money to pay an 81 year old chi gung master to come and teach them one day a month.  The event takes place in the basement of a group member's house.  The class was amazing and I left feeling wonderful.  The chi gung master lectures (with the help of a translator) at the beginning of the class and then drops tidbits throughout the workout.  His lecture was mostly focused on living a simple life.

This week I am spending a lot of time as a doula.  I have a young woman who is past her due date and showing early signs of labor.  We spent some time at the hospital late last night/early this morning but they eventually sent her home.  This can be nerve-wracking, especially for young women/girls, and I think my services are well utilized.  If she doesn't go into labor on her own she will be induced on Saturday but with all that is going on I'm betting I'll be busy tonight or tomorrow morning.   I also have two doula-related meetings today: one with an established client and one with a prospective client.  (The term client seems wrong to me as I'm not doing this for pay/business but I haven't figured out a better term yet). 

Last week I started obsessing over the thought of moving.  Although I blogged that I wasn't going to move anytime soon, I couldn't get the desire out of my head.  I sent b to look at a possible rental but it was not a good match for us.  I also started riding my bike past houses that were listed for sale and would, conceivably, be in our price range.  I searched the internet for sales and rentals in my neighborhood for several days.  b and I talked about where we were and what we needed.  I started looking into credit reports and mortgages.  All of this always took me back to the same conclusion.  We're not ready to move and although we could pull it off, it would add financial and personal stress.

I don't think I live the simple life that the chi gung master was talking about but my life is much simpler now that it has ever been before.  I have a tendency, when things are going smoothly, to look for the "next adventure:" to take on a new project.  I handle stress well and so I never really thought about the long term consequences of making my life busy and hectic.  I'm beginning to see, however, the benefits of keeping things in the manageable range.

Right now my life consists of: being a mom, a wife, a teacher, a mentor, a researcher, a writer, a doula.  I practice yoga and tai chi and ride my bike. I try to hike and camp and enjoy the outdoors as much as possible.  I take pictures of my world on a daily basis and read as much as I can whenever I can.  It is not exactly a simple life but it's a manageable one.

Here's a mosaic of my life in May:

RBOC: Memorial Weekend Edition

• The Assessment Workshop is over!  It was far worse than I imagined it would be.  I can't really say much more on why it was so horrendous but as of yesterday Summer Break has officially started for me and I couldn't be happier. 
• I had a very lovely day yesterday.  It started with breakfast with b at our favorite spot and ended with dinner and drinks with b at another favorite spot.  In between there was gossip with colleagues, a little clothes shopping, a phone conversation with Angel, and a great yoga class.
• There was also a huge thunderstorm last night.  b and I got caught in it for a bit but it was the fine kind of storm where you don't mind getting wet.
• It is now officially hot in SouthLite.  The "summer" in Summer Break has started as well.
• I spent today doing tai chi.  I went to my regular tai chi class in the morning and then did a 4 hour tai chi broadsword workshop.  My arms, shoulders and back are killing me but in that good way.
• Tomorrow morning I'll be heading to a nearby city for a chi gung class with a master.  I am very excited.
• b has to work all weekend.  His store is having its biggest sale of the year.  
• Every year b's store holds a chili cook-off during this sale.  b's chili has won for the last two years.  He got up early to make it this morning but the results aren't in yet. 
• Monday we are both off and the gym is closed.  He's planning a paddle and I'm planning a bike ride.  Than we'll do the traditional Memorial Day grill.  Perhaps we'll even make Sangria.
• Hope you are all having a very lovely Memorial Day weekend.

Moving

We will have been living in the current House of Dirt and Rocks for four years come this July.  In some ways I am "over" the house and in other ways I am not.   So I think about moving but do nothing about it except fantasize about other houses.

Ways In Which I Am Over This House

1. It is not an attractive house and could never really be an attractive house.  My last home was very attractive.  What I could do to make this house more attractive is not worthwhile because I am renting.  
2. When we first moved here the street was quiet with several empty lots.  There has been a lot of construction and all of it has been student housing so we are now a much busier and noisier street with frat parties. 
3. The house is cold throughout the winter.
4. The house has few closets and the ones that are here have no doors. 
5. The kitchen, while large, is not conducive for cooking. 
6. We've been battling termites for too long. 

Ways In Which I Am Not Over This House

1. I can walk to my university.
2. b can ride to his job.
3. I can ride to my gym and the store (if necessary)
4. It is cheap and my money can go towards paying off old debt and Angel's tuition.
5. It has a large, fenced-in backyard that is good for Pupzilla and b's kayaks.
6. Moving is time-consuming and a pain.

So it looks like we'll be staying a while and I'll just keep window-shopping. However it looks like I may be moving offices again this summer.  This will make the third office switch in four years but this one is at my request.  My current office is way to small for my needs.  The new office is in a different building and is on the side of campus that is near my favorite coffee shop. It is also in a suite that has more amenities conducive to the way I work and with colleagues I really like and don't get to see often enough (although I actually like all my colleagues so I'll miss the ones I'm moving away from, once I move).

I'm hoping the office move satisfies my need to relocate for at least a year or two.  If nothing else it will force me to throw things out.

Angel's New Digs

Sunday b and I drove down to visit with Angel in his new home.  He had been working double shifts all week but had Sunday and Monday off.

We met one of his roommates (the other is off visiting Vietnam as part of the school's study abroad program) and his roommate's cat.  The cat has a stubby tail because someone wrapped a band around it when she was a kitten.  I don't know how people can be so cruel.  She's a very sweet cat.

Angel gave us the tour and all I could say to b was that the house is a lot nicer than the one we're renting.  The rooms are all large.  They have nice wooden floors and great detail on the walls.  I really liked the yard.  It has a lot of potential.  It's an odd shape, with a lot of little sections and steps that remind me of an English garden.

The house also has a formal dining room and a breakfast nook.  We're big fans of the breakfast nook in our family.

Angel says he eats most of his meals in his room.

The kitchen is very nice and comfortable for cooking.  Angel is buying groceries like cereal and sandwich fixings but he wants to learn how to cook simple meals.  We're supposed to be sending him recipes.  I brought groceries with me to cook one of his favorite dishes: Arroz Con Pollo.  We also bought him a pot because we weren't sure if he had anything to cook it in.

As we were driving down, he called to see if we minded cooking for some of his fraternity brothers.  Of course I said I'd be happy to meet his friends and that there was always enough food.  I ended up cooking for 10.

I wrote down the recipe and took pictures at each step while I was cooking. I'm in the process of putting it altogether for Angel. The guys loved the dish and several said they want a copy of the recipe too. If it turns out well I might end up posting it here.

His friends are great.  They are exceptionally polite and considerate but, more importantly, really care about Angel.  The warmth and good affection they all have for each other is obvious and is not what I expected from a fraternity.  I have to admit that Angel's college experience has taught me a lot more about Greek Life than I ever thought I'd know.

We left shortly after dinner.  The guys were all lounging in front of the TV and I believe there were plans brewing for that evening.  Angel looked pleased with himself and quite content in his new surroundings.  It was easy to leave him there.

Stoner

Pumpkin gave me several books for my birthday.  Many of them are off my Amazon Wish List, which I had told her I keep public just for such purposes. She knows I love getting books as presents and did a great job picking them out from my extensive list. But she also strayed off the list, which, unbeknownst to her, is something I enjoy even more.

Pumpkin's favorite book is Gone With The Wind.  She was talking to a co-worker about favorite books and her feelings for GWTW and he mentioned that Stoner was his favorite.  He said it was an amazingly intense and emotional book and the only one he has ever had to put aside while reading because of the intensity.  She was intrigued and looked it up.  What she read about it reminded her of me and she included it in my gift.

Have I mentioned how amazing Pumpkin is?

I can't believe I've gone through 45 years of reading (or being read to) without ever having found John Williams or this novel before.  It is a quiet but brilliantly intense read.  It was published in my birth year and the story takes place at the beginning of the century but it still holds true today.  It is set in academia but it is a book about life and love and work.  It is a must read.

I told my mother about the book before I started reading it.  My entire life I have been convinced that my mother has read every book worth reading but she had never heard of the novel or the author.  Having now read it, she agrees with my assessment and offered a likeness to Marilynne Robinson's work.  I hadn't made a connection but it is definitely there.

If this post hasn't piqued your curiosity enough to go out and find a copy in your local library (or bookstore) yet, here are some quotes.

On privilege and gender:

So she grew up with a frail talent in the more genteel arts, and no knowledge of the necessity of living from day to day.  Her needlepoint was delicate and useless, she painted misty landscapes of thin water-color washes, and she played the piano with a forceless but precise hand; yet she was ignorant of her own bodily functions, she had never been alone to care for her own self one day of her life, nor could it ever have occurred to her that she might become responsible for the well-being of another.  Her life was invariable, like a low hum; and it was watched over by her mother, who, when Edith was a child, would sit for hours watching her paint her pictures or play her piano, as if no other occupation were possible for either of them.

 On gender and marriage:

She had gone into her marriage to Horace Bostwick with that dissatisfaction so habitual within her that it was a part of her person; and as the years went on, the dissatisfaction and bitterness increased, so general and pervasive that no specific remedy might assuage them.  Her voice was thin and high, and it held a note of hopelessness that gave a special value to every word she said.

On teaching and passion:

Now and then he became so caught by his enthusiasm that he stuttered, gesticulated, and ignored the lecture notes that usually guided his talks.  At first he was disturbed by his outbursts, as if he presumed too familiarly upon his subject, and he apologized to his students; but when they began coming up to him after class, and when in their papers they began to show hints of imagination and the revelation of a tentative love, he was encouraged to do what he had never been taught to do.  The love of literature, of language, of the mystery of the mind and heart showing themselves in the minute, strange, and unexpected combinations of letters and words, in the blackest and coldest print--the love which he had hidden as if it were illicit and dangerous, he began to display, tentatively at first, and then boldly, and then proudly.  

Assessment Workshop

My summer break is starting a little late this year.  I volunteered to participate in an assessment workshop for our General Education Program. By volunteer I mean I'm getting paid.

The workshop runs for two weeks.  We meet from 8:30 to 4:30 every day (actually most days we get out by 4 at the latest) in a remote campus that is outside of SouthLite city limits.  This means I need to drive to the workshop every day.  Normally I walk to my campus and rarely am I on campus 5 days a week.

We have completed the first week and already I have learned a lot.  Here are some highlights:

1. I am grateful to be an academic.  This business of having my work and time scheduled for me and being in the same room with the same people every day really bites.  Yes I know it is the reality for the majority of people employed in industrialized nations and for many years it was my reality but now I know better.  While academia is far from perfect, we have a pretty sweet deal and I can't wait to go back to it.
2. Assessment is not grading.  Ok, so I actually knew this before I took the workshop but the Powers-That-Be don't seem to realize that I know this and feel the need to say it every few hours.
3. It is really hard (but not impossible) to assess students' writing when you are not allowed to mark the page.
4. Assessing 20 student papers a day--from assignments you didn't develop and in disciplines you know nothing about--blows.
5. Just because I am now eating meat again does not mean I should refrain from ordering the vegetarian option on a catering menu.  I am amazed how frequently I forget that saying you eat meat means saying you eat bacon when you live in the south. (And yes they are feeding us at this workshop, something I know does not happen for the majority of the workforce.  Nor are the majority of the workforce being paid at the daily rate that I am receiving--yet still I complain.  That, my friends, is what academics do.)
6. People believe you can teach someone how to write in a class or two outside of their major and then students will magically come to you with the ability to write clearly and concisely, display critical thinking skills and correctly use and cite the literature in your field. This is convenient because then all you need to teach them is the content of your field.
7. My friend (who thankfully volunteered for the workshop with me) and I can solve all the problems in our department just by taking daily walks at lunch.
8. Stag beetles are quite unattractive and a little scary looking.

9. The remote campus is really lovely but not as large as I had imagined.