On Being Thankful

While I am generally grateful of all the things I have in my life, I am not one who usually celebrates Thanksgiving by actually giving thanks.  I am not a big Thanksgiving fan (although I'm married to one). For me it is a day spent cooking and eating food I don't particularly enjoy.  I'm also not a fan of shopping, so the whole Black Friday thing kind of wigs me out.  But this year, for some reason that I can't really fathom, I came up with a gratitude list while I was cleaning my house.

I am thankful:

• for Angel's laugh.  It lights up the house whenever he's home and I enjoy falling asleep to it at night.
• for a house that I both enjoy living in and can afford.
• for a husband who, while cooking a huge traditional thanksgiving dinner of turkey and stuffing, will cook me duck because I really don't like turkey.
• for a husband who does all the cooking.
• for a chance to spend time with my sister.  I don't see any of them regularly and being with a sister makes me feel grounded in a way that nothing else can. 
• for a visit from Pumpkin, who has her own large family to see but always makes time for us.
• for Pupzilla's arthritis medicine that has given me my dog back.
• for a gym that hires amazing yoga teachers and stays open on Thanksgiving so I can get my yoga on before the big meal.
• for students who send me emails saying they miss me and want to get together for lunch.
• for all you who read and actually care about these minor details of my life.

RBOC: Wild and Wooly Weekend Edition

• Zippy lives!  b came home and said she just needed some fluid.  There's an ongoing condition that requires we keep her well hydrated.  I have not been doing this.
• Cars are still a foreign land to me.
• Pupzilla continues to do well on her arthritis medication.  We went on a walk and she refused to turn back.  I eventually had to trick her back home by making a big circle.
• In the past two weeks I've thought both my dog and my car were goners and now they both have a new lease on life.
• This morning I mapped out a bike route to get to my yoga class.  The bad news is I took a few wrong turns and ended up missing the class.  The good news is that I had a great bike ride and now feel more confident that I can bike in this neighborhood.
• I only have one paper left that needs feedback!
• b came home and made ribs.  We have a double stove and recently found out the bottom one works better than the top.  The ribs came out better than ever.
• For the first time ever we have decorated for Christmas before Thanksgiving.  We still don't have a tree but b hung lights outside today.
• I purged my closet of clothes this afternoon.  I found clothes in there that are three sizes too small.  Yes I've been holding onto a lot of clothes with the idea that one day I'll fit them again.  It was sad to part with some of them but it was also very freeing.  I no longer have to sort through reminders of my former self just to find something to wear.
• I celebrated my new self by ordering some clothes online.  
• Have made serious progress with my blog revamping project.  It is still too soon to unveil but I'm feeling very positive about it. 

Driving Zippy

Growing up in the City of Pizza and Bagels means growing up in a car-less life.  No one in my immediate family owned a car or knew how to drive.  Not many of my friends had cars and none of us learned to drive in high school.  In my late twenties I started to travel for business and not knowing how to drive was a huge inconvenience.  Outside of the city, not knowing how to drive made me feel like a child.

I started taking lessons when I was 29.  The City of Pizza and Bagels is not a fun place to learn how to drive.  I was terrified every time I had a lesson.  One of my sisters started taking lessons at around the same time.  When it was time to take our road tests, she passed and I failed.  I took some more lessons and waited a while for my next test and then I failed again.  After that I pretty much gave up.

Then I started dating b and cars came into my life.  Well one car did: his small Isuzu truck.  We used it to get out of the city to paddle and hike.  We eventually used it to find a small house about an hour north of the city.  We packed up our belongings, Angel, the cats and Pupzilla and moved someplace where the nearest store was 15 miles away.  Not driving was not really an option.  b taught me to drive in that little Isuzu truck and I used it to pass my third road test.

When b got a bigger truck, I got the little Isuzu.  I loved driving that truck but it was old and one day she broke down on the side of the road.  The cost to fix her far exceeded her worth.  We went shopping for a car and b found Zippy.  She was 10 years old but had a lot of get-up-and-go.  The only catch was her manual transmission.  b loved driving stick but I had never done it and she was to be my car.  Keep in mind I was still a new and very nervous driver.  We bought her anyway and somehow b managed to teach me to drive stick in a nearby parking lot.

That was almost seven years ago.  Eventually we moved down to SouthLite and b's truck died shortly after we got here.  I had to share Zippy as she became the family car.  Last year when b finally got a new car, Zippy reverted to me.  I love driving that car.  She's old, she's banged up (I managed to back her directly into b's truck twice shortly after we got her), and she is far from attractive but I love her.  We have replaced many of her parts over the years and I know we are reaching the point where it doesn't make sense to keep her going.

Today the clutch didn't want to engage, repeatedly.  With a little patience and a lot of dogged determination, I got her to and from the gym.  Once I made it home I didn't want to risk another trip out.  Her mechanic is closed for the weekend and b is away so I have no one to give me a real diagnosis but I am not hopeful.  A new clutch in a 17 year old car is probably not a wise decision to make and I'm worried that may be what I'm facing. 

Pupzilla and the Vet

Pupzilla on her couch

We moved houses last January.  The vet we have been using since arriving in SouthLite is now way over on the other side of town.  I began the process of finding a new vet after we moved but once I collected a few recommendations life got in the way.

Last spring Pupzilla had a run-in with a six-legged creature in the backyard that broke her out in lumpy hives.  It was a Sunday but luckily there is an animal emergency hospital just three blocks from our new home.  I took her there and they treated her wonderfully.  Again I thought that I should really find a new vet, especially since her annual visit occurs in June, but again life got in the way.

While I was yucking it up in our nation's capital this past weekend, b was home snuggling Pupzilla. He found a ping-pong sized lump on her neck.  It was not the usual kind of lumps and growths that she has been sprouting these last few years.  So I made an appointment with a vet that a good friend had recommended.

I came home from DC on Wednesday and the appointment was for Thursday morning.  I had not yet finished my grading and barely got my prepping done for my back-to-back classes on Thursday afternoon.  b had the day off and was going to take Pupzilla while I stayed home and worked.  At the last minute I decided to tag along so I could meet the new vet.  Really I was worried that this would be awful news and I didn't want b to hear it alone.

The lump turned out to be nothing more than a fatty benign tumor that does not need to be removed. The vet checked her various other lumps and moles and was not overly worried about any of them (although recommended we have one on her ankle removed--but no rush).  She was appalled by the state of Pupzilla's nails (our previous vet never offered to clip them and Pupzilla won't let us do it).  With two assistants holding Pupzilla down, our new vet managed a lovely mani/pedi.

The previous vet had mentioned Pupzilla has arthritis in her knees and we've been noticing her slowing down considerably.  The last time I took her for a walk it was a slow and difficult process. She sometimes stumbles going up and down the stairs to the yard and rarely gets off the couch anymore.  We assumed a lot of this was age.  The vet gave us a free sample of arthritis medicine and told us that we may see a difference.  According to her, many people assume age is the culprit when it is really pain.  It is very hard to see pain in a dog and Pupzilla is particularly stoic.

We gave her a pill as soon as we got home and then left for the afternoon.  When we got home last night she came to the door to greet us like in the old days.  She also wanted to play fetch with her bone and didn't stop after three throws (her usual pattern these days).  Today she is mostly on her couch but has been getting up and down with considerable more ease.  We are hopeful that things will continue to improve.

We love our new vet. 

Angel's Fall Break

It is almost 9pm on Sunday night and Angel just left.  It has been a very very different fall break than the one I had planned.  I planned a replay of last year's fall break: me, b and Pupzilla spending a week on the beach.  I imagined it sunny but not too warm.  I imagined b cooking delicious dinners while I did a little grading.  I imagined yoga in my room, long walks (maybe a few runs) on the beach and an occasional swim.

What I got was a deluge of rain here in SouthLite, no beach, and over four days of nonstop grading. By the time grading and my official fall break was over, Angel's was just beginning.  As I mentioned recently, Angel has a very different relationship with my home this semester.  It is actually the relationship I thought he would have three years ago when he first went to college.  He not only decided to spend his entire fall break at our house but he had to bring one of his best friends (and roommate).

The friend is a great guy.  At 6'5", he is a taller version of Angel.  He is sensitive, sweet and sarcastic.  He is incredibly polite and appreciative.  He and Angel spent the entire break sitting with me at my kitchen table doing homework and talking.  They are very funny together.  Their work is constantly interrupted by media: sharing youtube and hulu videos, repeating favorite lines from favorite comedians,  naming the melody and composer of movie soundtracks, and watching videogame tournaments.  I'm not sure how they actually get any work done.

I sat with them doing my own work and answering questions about graduate school applications, research methodology, and paper writing.  They showed me all of their favorite Portlandia episodes (if you haven't seen them, they are quite funny).  When I wasn't sitting I was up cooking, baking or cleaning up.  They eat a lot those two young men.

We had a great time with them.  b had some quality time swapping comedic routines and media references with them and actually did the bulk of the cooking and baking.  They were supposed to leave early (or their version of early) this morning and I had planned a recovery day for myself.  Now it is 9 o'clock and my week starts tomorrow.  Angel's parting words included "I'll be back in two weeks."  I think I may need to rest up.

Angel's Senior Year

It is hard to believe but Angel is a senior in college and will be graduating next May.  When he was a senior in high school I was prepared for a change in his behavior and in our relationship.  From what I had heard, senior year was when he would begin to pull away and there would be some negative behavior/interactions around that process.  It didn't happen.  It didn't happen during the gap year that followed either.

What did happen (for those of you who didn't live through it with me) was he pretty much disappeared the day he went to college.  We barely heard from him (when we did it was because he needed help) and he rarely came home.  In fact he didn't even make it home for Christmas (or the entire winter break) his first year.  He did come home that first summer but it wasn't a happy time for any of us.

At the end of his sophomore year he moved out of the dorms and into his own place.  This was a great move and for the past year and a half we have had a nice but not terribly close relationship. We occasionally visit him and he comes here on holidays.  We communicate by phone, email, and text. Three quarters of the time we hear from him because he needs help (mostly money) but there are some conversations that are purely for enjoyment.  I can't say I love it but I'm used to it.  I miss him but I'm used to missing him.

This year is a little different.  He is coming up to see us for fall break.  He was up a few weeks ago and tried to come up last week.  He and I have had a couple of multiple-hour phone calls and I hear from him several times a week.  He has also been calling and relying on his father more than ever before. Most of this renewed attention is because he needs help accomplishing some big tasks this year.  He has a research project for his capstone course and he's been picking my brain on methodology.  He is also looking into graduate school and preparing for a cross-country bike ride that includes fund-raising for a worthy cause.

He told me he likes to come here for the weekend because it is quiet, he gets a lot of work done, he saves money and he has a good time.  The last part surprised me a bit.

He is anxious.  Finishing college is a big step (and particularly scary in the current economic condition).  I think part of him is ready to be done and the other part thinks he's not ready for the world.  He really wants to be ready.  He's making a big push to get himself there this year.  What is interesting is that in pushing forward he has begun to reach back.

I expected the adolescent years to be the push/pull of dependence and independence but it seems there is a fair amount of it happening in the young adult years.  I remember being on my own at his age.  My family was not in a position to provide a safety net in case I couldn't make it or a safe haven for when I was feeling anxious and overwhelmed.  I'm happy to be able to do that for him and I'm enjoying his company while I have it. 

High Culture

I've been enjoying the cultural life here in SouthLite.   We have a great little theatre and b and I try to go once a season.  Last week we went to see their rendition of Dial M For Murder.  It was quite fun. We also have a historic film theatre that now shows classics as well as live performances.  It was the place where I discovered Ruthie Foster.  More recently we stopped in for a showing of Singing in the Rain.

Tonight I went with a colleague to the theatre at my university.  I had never been before.  I had heard that our theatre and music departments were excellent so I as looking forward to the evening.  They did a steam punk-inspired version of ThreePenny Opera. I had never seen the show before.  I was impressed with both the show and the performances.  Who knew that was where Mack the Knife came from?

This weekend Angel is coming up for a visit.  We're hoping to take him to a two man play in the local cabaret.  One of the two men is a friend of ours and I've been told he does half the play in drag.  Next month Angel is coming up to see Lewis Black with us and then we have a staged version of A Christmas Carol to look forward to in December.

Ironically I see more theatre and live music here than I ever did in The City of Pizza and Bagels.

It's All Fun and Games Until Somebody Gets Locked In the Bathroom

b is away this weekend.  He flew to Large Southern Hub City to teach his first wilderness first aid course.  He was a little nervous before he left but is doing great.

Today was the first BBB in the new house.  We read Truth and Beauty.  I expected a large crowd but there were several last minute cancellations.  I wanted to have a fire in the fireplace but it was a warm day.

I baked these cookies.

They are delicious but perhaps a too peanut-buttery for my guests? I have way too many leftover. I also made my sure-fire brownie recipe but some guests arrived before I had finished mixing the batter and I messed it up.  I think I made fudge.

One guest brought a lovely loaf of No-Knead Bread she had just baked and luckily I had some aged cheddar on hand.  That was a big hit, along with the grapes and cherries.

So the day was beautiful, the house was lovely, the food and guests superb.  We had a rather lively discussion as we had very differing opinions on the friendship portrayed in the book.  Things were winding down and people were making ready to go when one guest got locked in the bathroom.  At first we just heard a lot of knob turning and it took us a while to realize she was truly stuck.

Another guest, known for being handy around the house, tried to help.  Soon we were all gathered around the bathroom.  We slid the key back and forth under the door but could not get it open.  I got a screwdriver but was quickly informed that it would not make a difference.  The doors in our house have all their original locks (from some time in the 1940s).  They are quite quaint but, it would seem, temperamental.

 The offending lock.

The offending key.

My guest ended up climbing out the window and into the backyard.  After everyone left I called b. Obviously there was nothing he could do from Large Southern Hub City but he is generally my starting point for all problems.  I then called a locksmith.  Turns out there's a franchise locksmith called "Pop-A-Lock" that shows up within 30 minutes to unlock your door (the Domino's of the locksmith world).

A very nice gentleman arrived at my door in 15 minutes.  He ended up having to climb into the bathroom window (which seemed much harder than climbing out of it) and managed to get it open with the key.  I was hoping he'd have to at least use a tool or something.

In other news, this song has been in my head all weekend.

Prime Real Estate

Cats are particular about spaces.  Most cats share spaces but dominance (or the cat-equivalent) can sometimes be assessed by who gets the best space the most.

My cats don't share...anything.  They even have their own kitty litter boxes.  They are forced to share food but only because when I tried to create a his and hers, he ate both.

In the new house the kitchen window is the favorite spot.  It is best when there is sun but loved regardless of the weather.

Smudge must like this house a lot because she has not been backing down, especially when it comes to the window seat.

Consequently space is now shared.

Pizza Night

This afternoon I made potato leek soup and tried my first bread in the new house.

Then b and I tried out 3 different cast-iron pizza recipes.

The first was a variation of what b has learned on NOLS trips.

The second I found on one of my favorite food blogs.

The third was a faux-deep dish that b found here.

It was the winner. 

Happy Feet

Bliss

I could wear them forever...and I just might.

An Ominous Start To The Semester

The spring semester started this week with two snow days.  Unfortunately my first class (which only meets once a week) was cancelled.  This is one of my favorite classes to teach and I was looking forward to getting started.  A bigger problem is how to make up for the lost day.

In part due to the delayed start and in part due to my entire winter break being eaten up with the move, I have not felt prepared all week.  I enjoy routine and structure and had been happily anticipating its return.  Instead the week has been spent with a great deal of uncertainty: will the university be open or closed?  will my pregnant teen mom go into labor or not?

I have a very anxious doula client (who is as sweet as can be) and she is due this week.  We have been in and out of the hospital and induction has been scheduled and cancelled.  I have arranged and rearranged my schedule around her anticipated delivery and still there is no baby.  While this is all within the range of normal, I didn't realize how disruptive it would be at the beginning of a semester.

The delayed start was not all bad however.  In keeping with this year's word, I was able to prepare many of my spaces this week.  I finally cleaned and organized my office at work and am loving it more than ever.  I also managed to set up my home office, and like everything else in the new house, it is far superior to my last one.  Perhaps more importantly, I cleaned off the desktop on my computer and cleaned out both my bag and my wallet.  There is something about having all that clutter around me; having to sort through flotsum and jetsum every time I try and do the most menial of tasks; that drives me crazy. Now everything is neat and clean and accessible.

The final space that needs to be cleaned up is my car.  Buying the second car for b means that the car we originally bought for me has once again become my car.  Over the years it has acquired junk from both me and b and in the week of the move it became filled with last minute items.  b has promised to clean it out and clean it up for me this weekend.  Once that is done all my spaces will be as I like them.

On a related note, when we rented this house we were excited to have a fireplace again.  However we were disappointed to realize it was gas.  At the top of the growing list of 'what we will do if we buy the house' was converting it back to wood-burning.  Last weekend b unsuccessfully tried to get a fire going and, in reporting the absence of any gas-flow, asked the landlord if it could be converted back.  Although surprised that we wanted wood instead of gas, he was happy to comply. Yesterday he came over and within half an hour we had the fireplace we wanted.

Tonight I stopped on the way home to pick up some wood.  I got home to find b already sitting in front of a roaring fire as he had thought and done the same thing.  Our home space is now complete.

Oxtail Stew And Oreos

I am loving my new kitchen.

 Pupzilla loves it when we cook but even more when we drop.

Temperatures have dropped and we are expecting snow and ice.  Oxtail Stew is perfect for this weather.

 Still craving the red meat.

 The Brute loves the kitchen too.

My friend and colleague turned 50 today.  His wife threw him a surprise potluck dinner.  I made this oreo cookie recipe. 

After A Few Minor Setbacks We Settle In

Settling into the new and improved House of Dirt and Rocks has not been without its share of bumps. Most of these bumps have come in the past 48 hours.  Two days ago, after a very restless night that deprived b of most of his sleep, Pupzilla relieved her stomach of all its contents.  Shortly afterwards we noticed that she had broken out in hives and a large cyst was found on her ankle. Many hours and dollars later, the emergency vet confirmed b's original diagnosis of an allergic reaction to what was most likely an insect bite (we suspect a spider).  She was given medication and lots of fluids (as she was pretty dehydrated) and sent home to rest.

The next morning b made the critical mistake of requesting a drama-free day.  He went off to work and I went off to run multiple errands.  One of the errands was to drop off the keys to our old house. Also on my list was to make an extra copies of the keys for the new house as the landlord had only given us one set.  Somewhere on my meandering route around SouthLite that one set of keys dislodged themselves from my keyring and escaped.  I discovered this hours later when trying to get into the house with bags of groceries.  I spent the next hour retracing my steps to no avail.  b thought he could get into the house and left work to give it a try.  His love of cat-burglar movies paid off and he successfully broke into our own house.   Unfortunately that didn't solve the key problem and I had to drive an hour and a half each way to the neighboring city where my landlord lives to get a new set.

Last night, although exhausted from all these shenanigans, I stayed up to work on my syllabus. Just a short hour after my head hit the pillow my phone went off.  It was my latest doula client. She isn't due for another 10 days but was convinced she was in labor.  I was dubious.  I met her at the hospital where we waited for over 3 hours (due to someone else's emergency c-section) for the midwife to inform her that she was not in labor yet and send her home with words of encouragement.

In spite of the last 48 hours, I am happy to report that we are happily settled in.  There are still pictures and curtains to hang and a scary mudroom to organize but we have working appliances (well some just barely...there are a few purchases in our future) and the boxes have been both emptied and carted away.

Behold the House of Dirt and Rocks (aka The Tikki Lounge):

Front View

Back View (what once was a shed)

Backyard

Back View

Side View

b's Latest Love

Pupzilla Settling In

Kitchen

More Kitchen

Bar

Pupzilla on her couch

Hallway

Smudge in the office

The Brute in the bedroom

Scary Mudroom

Empty Guest Room

More Empty Guest Room

More Scary Mudroom

Pupzilla patiently waiting for me to stop the picture-taking nonsense and finish making dinner.

RBOC: Moving Day

• We are all moved in.  
• My Once and Future Department Head showed up to help us move.  We ran into him the night before at a restaurant and jokingly asked him to help and he did.  
• Tomorrow I clean the old house and unpack here as much as possible.  
• I also need to drive Angel to the airport and pick up something yummy for New Year's Eve. 
• We found a new bar near the new house that has Guinness on tap. 
• Pictures of the new house will eventually follow.  
• We are very happy and it is already feeling like home. 
• The animals are taking a little bit longer to get comfortable.  Smudge hasn't come off the top shelf of a closet; The Brute is constantly investigating; and Pupzilla is having a few "digestive issues."

White Christmas