If you see a whole thing - it seems that it's always beautiful. Planets, lives... But up close a world's all dirt and rocks. And day to day, life's a hard job, you get tired, you lose the pattern. - Ursula K. LeGuin

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

An Evening With Angel

Sunday b and I drove an hour and a half each way to have dinner with Angel. This, it seems, is what you do when your child grows up, leaves home and doesn't want to come back. We picked him up, saw his dorm room, and met his roommate for the first time (ok, we did see last year's dorm room and meet last year's roommate on day one but this year is a totally different matter).

He took us to a local hangout and I helped him do his taxes. In true Angel fashion, he had forgotten to bring one of his W2s so we didn't get too far. b sat quietly as Angel and I re-enacted all our years of evening homework sessions. The next event was for Angel to interview b about his job. This was part of an assignment for his "World of Work" class. I tried to sit quietly but felt the need to throw my two cents in on a question or two.

Finally it was time for dinner, where conversation included Angel's plans for moving off campus. He has teamed up with a good friend and his brother and they've been looking at local apartments for rent. For some reason the brother needs to make this move by April so Angel will be moving out of the dorms before the semester is completely over. There was some discussion on how this will save us money in the long run, but I am doubtful.

I am strangely excited by the thought of him living off campus. When I moved out of my mother's home it was directly into an apartment of my own (with my then-boyfriend, eventual ex-husband). I learned and grew so much from that experience and I don't think that would have happened if I had been in a dorm room. For Angel I think 2 years in the dorm has been a good in-between step but I feel he is ready for more independence.

I thought it would bother me (and maybe it still will) since it is another strong step away from us but I can't really imagine him living here again. He has been saying all year that he was not moving back home for the summer and I am relieved. As much as I love seeing him, having him live here for a few months would be really disruptive.

As we were talking about his plans, I asked what furniture he'd need. He said he was taking his bed and dresser. I realized that, according to this new timeline, he'd need to do that in about 6 weeks. On the way home b and I started making plans to move into his bedroom/our study and turn our room into a much nicer and more efficient study. I'm excited about the idea and getting it done will be my spring break project.

I think I have turned a corner.


Psycgirl said...

I loved living off campus! Angel is going to have a great time :)

goblinfruitstudio said...

I too, lived on campus for 2 years, then moved off (which wasn't really far from college property...about 10 feet, really, but it wasn't owned by the University) into an apartment with 3 other girls. Unfortunately, my move into an apartment wasn't viewed as positively by my parents as yours toward Angel (the idea of wild parties and orgies rather than individual growth dominated my parent's, well, mostly mom's thinking). I LOVED experiencing the freedom, and responsibility, which prepped me for "adult" life. Kudos to you, and congratulations to Angel!

Julie said...

Hi, Brig. You may get two similar comments from me. I just tried to post a comment and had a "Service Error Message." So...trying again.

Yes, you have definitely turned a corner. Angel sounds like a great guy with a good head on his shoulders. Living off campus will be a learning experience. I think it is good.

My daughter hasn't been living away from home for a long time relatively speaking, but I think I have finally accepted it. I still have moments of panic when I think about how young she is. But for the most part, I'm very excited for her.

I recently read an article about twenty something adults who have graduated college but are moving back in with their parents due to the Recession. I wonder if the parents and adult children have a hard time adjusting all over again.

jo(e) said...

My daughter lived off-campus her senior year, with a couple of friends she really liked, and it was a great experience for her.