A Bit More on Conversational Styles

At some point early in our marriage I realized that b's family, my in-laws, had a very different conversational style than what I grew up with. In trying to explain this to b I used the analogy of food. His family is all cocktails and hor d'oeuvres. The conversation flits from topic to topic and person to person with the primary motive being to entertain and be witty. He agreed but replied that conversation in my family is the main course--usually large and difficult to digest. This is quite true, my family will dive into a topic and chew it to pieces. Our primary motive is to (over)analyze and be intelligent. It helped me realize why I had such difficulty "fitting in" at his family gatherings. Every time I found a topic I could sink my teeth into it was gone and they were three topics ahead. It didn't offer any solutions but sometimes framing the problem is the best you're going to get.

Album Cover

As seen over at Dr. Bad Ass

Make Your Own Album Cover

1. Click on this link. The title of the page is the name of your band.
2. Click on this link. The last four words of the final quotation on the page are the title of your album.
3. Click on this link. The third picture is your album cover.
4. Add your band name and title to the picture.

Story Telling

Last night I spoke to 2ndSister about 3rdSister. 3rdSister is going through a BAAAAD time and when I say BAAAD time I mean the type of situation that takes you years and years to extract yourself from, even longer to recover from, and leaves permanent damage. We've all been seeing this coming for a long time and 3rdSister is finally ready to see it herself. But that's not really what I want to post about.

My talk with 2ndSister, as she conveyed the latest information and progress--if you can call it that--lasted 2 1/2 hours. Now that's not really all that unusual for us and these conversations used to occur on a fairly regular basis. However since I've moved away (1stSister, 2ndSister, and 3rdSister all live about an hour from each other in a place we like to call "UpNorth") my contact with all three sisters has dropped considerably.

After our lengthy discussion, in a move that can only be described as denial, I spent a lot of time thinking about how 2ndSister (and all of us really) talks. 2ndSister tells stories. Really she tells stories within stories within stories. A conversation with her with her can involve as many characters and subplots as a Tolstoy novel. She is also the Queen of foreshadowing. My own conversational storytelling gets mired down in details. I have a researcher's need for pinpoint accuracy, which can kill a good story.

My research for the past two years has focused on listening to women's lives and I've come to realize that some of us talk in stories and others do not. But no one, and I mean no one, rivals 2ndSister. I had the opportunity of transcribing an interview she did and was able to see, on the page, what I've experienced my whole life. My sister talks in novels. So last night I talked a novel with my sister. Unfortunately it was a tragedy.

Dog Meme

As seen over at Lady Scientist and Wayfarer Scientista:

5 Random Facts from Pupzilla

1. I have two siblings, Boy and The Brute. Boy is my favorite. Sometimes I get jealous when The Brute gets lovins'. We also have a cat but I don't like her very much.
2. I have 9 nipples and once nursed two beanie babies and a slipper.
3. I am currently on a diet and not enjoying it one bit.
4. My favorite spot is on my couch but during thunderstorms I sleep in Mom and Dad's room.
5. My ears are naturally floppy and for some reason this brings great joy to Mom and Dad. They talk about them a lot and sometimes play with them.

Protecting Time

What with the new year and new semester, there has been a lot of talk in the blogworld about schedules. People have been busy creating schedules and figuring how to keep research or writing time sacred. I came up with my own variation on a workable schedule and I've been trying to stick to it.

My schedule has me teaching Mon & Wed afternoons and Tuesday evenings. I've delegated Tues & Thurs mornings to research/writing (done mostly at home). I've delegated all day Fridays to research/writing & the occasional class prep (preferably at home). Wed mornings are meetings (service-related only).

This schedule gives me Mon morning and late afternoon and Tues, Wed & Thurs afternoons, to schedule other meetings (service/student/project-related) as well as prep, grade, and do various assorted tasks that pile up during the week. I think that's a reasonable amount of time to leave open. Of course they are not permanently open. They get filled as I get requests for meetings and if you want to be on my calendar I generally need a week or two's notice. Again, I think this is reasonable.

The difficulty comes when large groups need to coordinate their calendars for a meeting. In the past, when it would became apparent that the meeting could not take place within a week or two without someone caving, I would cave and give up my research/writing/at home time. The semester has been in swing for two weeks and I have not caved. What has happened instead? No meeting. I'm thinking this new approach is beneficial in more ways than one.

It's not that I Mind Serving on Committees...

but why does one 2-hr meeting generate 6-8 private meetings to discuss the outcomes--or lack thereof--of the meeting and the behavior of the committee members? This is especially problematic when the private meetings undo the few things the original meeting actually managed to accomplish.

Class Meme

I saw this at Reassigned Time and really liked it. Besides I've never done a meme before. Here it goes:

1. Father went to college -no but finished HS
2. Father finished college - see above
3. Mother went to college - yes -- twice: once before and once after 4 children
4. Mother finished college - yes and almost received a doctorate
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor - no
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers. - i'm not sure but probably the same
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home. -Definitely
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home. - Definitely
9. Were read children's books by a parent - Constantly
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18 - A month or two of guitar is all I remember. Do lessons at fresh air camp count?
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18 - Joined a dojo at 16, but I found that on my own and it was free.
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed -A disturbing amount of people say I sound like Rosie O'Donnell. No one has ever said I dress like her however
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18 - No. Wish I never had one and don't have one now.
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs - No. Not a dime. And I'm still payin'
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs - Now I'm laughing
16. Went to a private high school - No. College was the first private school I went to -- hence the still payin'
17. Went to summer camp -see fresh air comment above. Mom said it was cheaper to send us for the month then to feed us.
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels - Once -- at Atlantic City before they "fixed it up."
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18 - No.
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them - I bought my first car at 39, it was 10 years old - now it's 14
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child - Uh, no.
23. You and your family lived in a single-family house - First 7 years in a two-family home my grandmother owned, than apartments
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home - my mother has never owned her own home, currently she hops from location to location
25. You had your own room as a child - 4 girls, 2 bedrooms -- you do the math.
27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course - No.
28. Had your own TV in your room in high school - No.
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college - No.
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16 - First flight was honeymoon of first marriage
31. Went on a cruise with your family - have never been on a cruise and not looking to change that stat.
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family - see above.
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up - Lots. Mom loves a good museum
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family - there were no heating bills -- heat was included in the rent.