If you see a whole thing - it seems that it's always beautiful. Planets, lives... But up close a world's all dirt and rocks. And day to day, life's a hard job, you get tired, you lose the pattern. - Ursula K. LeGuin

Monday, June 30, 2008

Voice

I love the voice. I am totally musically challenged but if I could have a musical talent it would be the ability to sing. I'm partial to blues and jazz singers. I particularly love really big voices. I would rather go to an operatic concert than see a full opera.

I like to read poetry out loud (often to my cats, as b and Boy have no interest whatsoever) for the sheer joy of feeling the words as I speak them.

I remember discovering the term "writer's voice" as an adolescent. I've struggled with creative writing on and off (currently very off) since I was a girl, wishing my talent was greater and my voice more unique. Only just recently have I realized that I've developed a research voice -- a distinctive style to what and how I inquire. My research voice asks particular questions, can see specific patterns, and has its own interpretive slant. I've fallen in love with my research.

I hate my speaking voice. I have a very heavy accent that, to me, marks my blue collar background. I think it sounds unintelligent and very street. If I'm made aware of it in a professional situation I automatically feel like I don't belong--I'm not "right" for academia.

I'm a quiet person. In meetings and other social situations I prefer to listen; to listen with my whole attention; to read what is being said and not said and unsaid. I do, however, speak up in meetings but I do so only when I have something to say. By the time I speak people are usually ready to listen. They don't always agree but I capture their attention. I'm considered thoughtful. At this point in my life, I'm used to being listened to when I have something that I feel needs to be said. If I've made the effort to make myself heard and you dismiss me, you have probably lost me forever.

4 comments:

Deb said...

i would love to hear your voice because to me your words have always been kind.
my voice, on the other hand, i have been told i sound like i should have a 1-900 number. is that supposed to be a compliment?

Brigindo said...

Yes 1-900 voices are sexy - so that would rate a compliment in my book.

BTW, Boy comes home on Sunday.

Nit said...

Being from the west coast (Arizona) ~ I love hearing people with accents....even "blue-collar" accents! :)

And, I love, love, love me some jazz and the blues....nothing like a Saturday night with some Sangria and a little Billie Holiday :)

MoxieMamaKC said...

Here's to you, a fellow writer's voice without the singing voice...My Handsome Hubby has a BFA in Vocal Performance. Me? I can't carry a tune in a bucket. He laughs at my efforts, but in a kind way, knowing how self conscious I am about my singing voice.

It's the one talent I always wished I had.

But, after 12 years of being in awe of his talents, I've learned that we all have a soul voice. Sometimes it's singing, sometimes it's writing, sometimes it's painting,listening (or whatever else). It's just important to find that voice of creativity that sparks us to bigger and more divine things.

And you, darling, have done well. You're very inspiring to me to keep going with writing my inner voice and not to care who's listening/reading.

To thine ownself be true (and keep up the good work).