If you see a whole thing - it seems that it's always beautiful. Planets, lives... But up close a world's all dirt and rocks. And day to day, life's a hard job, you get tired, you lose the pattern. - Ursula K. LeGuin

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Empty Nesting

Angel has always done things in his own time. If he wasn't ready to go it was murder trying to get him out of the house but if it was someplace he wanted to go--he was out the door like a jack rabbit.

It took me years to realize it was futile to force him to do something before he was ready. I remember one time I was watching him brush his teeth about a month before his third birthday. He was still in diapers in spite of my best efforts. I had tried everything and had nothing left. So that morning, when he was talking about his upcoming birthday, I simply told him that in fact most boys didn't wear diapers when they were three. He looked at me for a moment and said ok...after his birthday he'd stop wearing them. Sure enough his birthday came and diapers were a thing of the past.

You would think I could learn but I didn't. Instead I sent him to summer camp when he was ten. Neither one of us was ready and it didn't go well. (poor b got the brunt of that one). However the next year he was ready. He went to a different camp--one of his choosing--and had a ball. Fast forward a few years and Angel is in his last year of high school and accepted at the college of his choice. He decides he wants to defer a year and get some work experience. I agree but worry that he may never go. Well I think you know how this story ends.

I believe I mentioned that Angel is not coming home for Thanksgiving, opting to go visit his dad Up North instead. We were supposed to have him for Christmas and the winter break. However this week we have learned that he will be spending Christmas and most of the break in Costa Rica with 3 frat brothers. It is a great deal and a golden opportunity. Angel loves to travel, especially international travel, so he's very excited.

Out the door--like a jack rabbit.

b and I are trying to figure out how to be a childless couple. It seems particularly hard over the holidays.


Seeking Solace said...

Although I don't have children, I can't imagine how tough it must be to let him go.

Perhaps you and B could start some special tradition of your own. Some "couple" time?

MsPrufrock said...

I'm only 2 and a bit years into this parenting gig, but already I can't imagine my house without a child. I also happen to like holidays surrounded by family, so I can only imagine what an adjustment this is for you.

As the above commenter mentioned, maybe a new tradition should be introduced?

Dr. Bad Ass said...

Ouch. Sounds rough.

Julie said...

My heart is breaking for you, dear lady. You will get through it. You will adjust. But dang...it sucks. On a happier note, you are giving Angel the greatest gift of all--the gift of independence to begin his adult life. Thinking of you and sending hugs your way today and through all those holidays.