If you see a whole thing - it seems that it's always beautiful. Planets, lives... But up close a world's all dirt and rocks. And day to day, life's a hard job, you get tired, you lose the pattern. - Ursula K. LeGuin

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Seeking Help

I never cease to be amazed at the difficulty I have asking for help. I know it is a huge stumbling block for me, both in my career and personal life. I don't know why I hate it so much but I will do anything to avoid it, even when I know ultimately I can't.

I just spend two days procrastinating because the only next logical step for my grant application was to ask for internal and external reviews. I get asked to review work all the time. I know it is a given in academia and that people generally do it if they can. No one likes being pressed into service when we all have our own work to do, but we all do it. But it took everything I had to compose the emails and then hit send.


At least its done. Now the worst case scenario is they say no and I'll have to find other people to ask.*

*Actually the worst case scenario is they say yes but don't do it and then I have to nag them.


Annie said...

Good luck! Chances are, whoever you've helped in the past, will be available to help you.

Drax said...

Have no fear! After they've pinched themselves for the sixth time, they will spring into action!

~profgrrrrl~ said...

I think that's a fairly common problem. Hope you get useful feedback from the reviews!

Julie said...

I feel for you, because I am like that, too. I don't know why I hate to ask people for "favors." I've even had times when I suffered for lack of asking for help, and when my friends found out, they were astounded (and hurt) that I didn't ask them.

I know asking a colleague is different than asking a friend, though. I hope the people who do the reviews are as diligent as you are!