If you see a whole thing - it seems that it's always beautiful. Planets, lives... But up close a world's all dirt and rocks. And day to day, life's a hard job, you get tired, you lose the pattern. - Ursula K. LeGuin

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

First Visit

Angel came home for Fall Break. It was his first visit home. We did many things that we have always enjoyed doing together.
  • The three of us went to the dojo together twice. They love Angel at the dojo and it is fun to have him there.
  • b and I cooked him many of his favorite meals, such as arroz con pollo (me), honey-mustard chicken cutlets w/ smashed potatoes and broccoli (me), meat and spinach lasagna (b), and meatballs (b). He even got to take some of it back to school frozen in individual containers.
  • We went to one of our favorite restaurants for dinner, another for lunch and a third for brunch. (Ok so a lot of what we like to do involves eating).
  • We watch 1 1/2 samurai movies (Angel has a paper due for English on the genre of samurai films)--Roshomon and Sanjuro.
  • We watched the final debate and talked politics. Angel went off to school swearing he would not vote or even register. He was completely turned off of politics and declared the entire system meaningless. I knew he would not be persuaded otherwise by his parents and hoped his peers would do the trick. Seems they have.
  • Angel and b got to play videogames together--Call of Duty 4, I believe.
  • Angel and I got into an intense debate of our own over when, if ever, it is appropriate to use anti-gay humor.
Angel also got to spend some time with his friends; some time alone at the house; and gave Pupzilla a couple of long walks. All-in-all it was a good visit and I was glad to have it.

However....

It was a visit. I expected this. So I was not shocked nor surprised when it did not feel like he was "home." He wasn't. He is quite clear that school is his home and he visits us. I know he loves us and I know he enjoys spending time with us and I'm very grateful for that (although he didn't really need to say how much he misses his frat brothers or how he wishes he could have gone to the impromptu camping trip instead of coming home, but whatever). But a visit feels like a visit and there's no denying the difference.

In a nutshell I got what I expected and I enjoyed it but I can't get what I really want. What I want won't/can't come back and I accept that. I just don't have to like it.

4 comments:

Deb said...

I'm smiling. Your right, you don't have to like it. But you sound sooo much better than when he went off to school and that makes me happy. Happy your ok. :)

post-doc said...

No, I wouldn't expect you to like it. But I am glad that his visit went so well and that he's adjusted so beautifully to college. You'll transition too, I know - I'm sorry it's so hard.

Amanda said...

I'm glad that his visit went well. I know that you will make the transition, I just wish it didn't have to be so difficult.

punkindunk said...

That sounds like a lovely weekend. Also, made me a little sad to think about my kids not being "home" at home.